Violence: Where it Comes From and How Can We Replace It!
Posted by: suzannekyra on: October 27, 2009
I had the wonderful honor to be invited to speak at a local event, on violence. I have since been thinking of the many ways in which we are violent. Often we are violent when: our pain outweighs our sensibilities; we have a moral entitlement; we are protecting our survival, or survival of someone, or something we value; injustice has been done; greed, envy, or jealousy. The love factor is lost. We are also vulnerable to being violent when we are feeling afraid, desperate, and need to appear superior or inferior. No matter what, violence always promises disconnection. There are many ways to be in the world, sometimes when we do not know how to be otherwise, maybe the only answer is to take better care of ourselves, and what will follow is us taking better care of what matters to us, and the better good for all. What do you think?
Annoyances Can Bring Us Back To Our Strength of Being!
Posted by: suzannekyra on: October 21, 2009
I today was given some annoying news. I decided to watch the impact it had on me. First, my breath became shallow. Second my muscles tightened up. Third my mind went into defense and fear mode. Can you relate to this?
I decided to go into solution mode. First I needed to breathe deeply. Second I needed to relax my belly and the rest of my body. Third I needed to remind myself that no one died, or is sick. I just needed to attend to the error that has occurred. I can deal with any scenerio. Do my part, and leave the rest behind. I then called two experts in this area of annoyance, and they came with a very efficient solution. The outcome I do not know what it will be. However, I have not done anything wrong, and if I had, I would own it, and still go through the steps I just did. What the delight is, I was able to extricate myself from the stress of the annoyance, and take care of what is important.
Sometimes we are not as resourced, however, we still need to step forward and always bring our “best foot” forward. I am so grateful that I have learned to trust my intuition and trust that there are many people around us, who really care and wish to support us.
May the annoyances in your life bring you back to what is really important in your life. Your well-being is your integrity.
What is Charisma? Tips to Build Your Charisma
Posted by: suzannekyra on: October 15, 2009
I was asked today what makes me different from other speakers? Was I a president of a country? Is there a huge scandal that I am involved in? I thought it is a good thing that I could say, “No!” to both. Or is this a good thing? Then I thought this question begs the question: What is it that audiences are wanting? Is it that they want to live vicariously through the speaker, or is it the audience enjoys greatness and gossip? What is it about scandal that is so attractive? Does it cause the witness to feel safe and smug? Because, this is not their life. I think the audience is needing to gain a sense of charisma from the speaker. Being a president, or involved in a scandal certainly reveals our vulnerability, strengths and blind spots. On a more serious note. Audiences come to hear someone speak, because the speaker is bringing forward some part of themselves which will interest the audience or make a positive difference in the audience’s lives.
Hence this is why the audience needs to feel the speaker, to gain a sense of the speaker’s personality. This is what we call the speaker’s charisma. Charisma is your charm, the beauty of your personality. It is showing your personality appeal. It is your pride. Everyone has it! Some just know how to show it off better than others. Because they have practiced the art of charisma.
How can you build your charisma whether you are a speaker or not?
1) Focus on what you are proud of, and put stories around it.
2) Practice in front of a mirror telling your stories, with laughter and joy.
3) Invite others to tell their stories, and show genuine interest in their charisma. Others will enjoy your charisma more if you enjoy theirs also.
4) Share your stories revealing your unique self.
This is a great practice for people at a boardroom to practice. Everyone sharing one unique story about themselves. Similarily at the dinner table, as well as parties.
I would love to hear your unique stories that shows you and others off in a good light. Please share!
Living Your Life with Gratitude and A Sense of Abundance!
Posted by: suzannekyra on: October 8, 2009
In Canada we are approaching what I believe is a most wonderful celebration of the year, Thanksgiving. I remember how as a child the Thanksgiving holiday was a magical time for me. People in our community would bring produce from their gardens to church. The abundance from the gardens would be displayed in the front of the church. The church service was focussed on expressing gratitude for what we have been given, and our responsibility to give to others. After church we would enjoy a turkey dinner with all of the trimmings. I remember the feeling of expansiveness with this tone of giving to others. In my and my son’s book “Welcome Home to Yourself”, I write about abundance from a perspective which goes beyond what we have to what we share.
“Abundance, like the Natural World, surpasses what we have–it is what we unconditionally share. I believe that abundance is only experienced in the presence of generosity. For me, this is about the joy and commitment we have to share, and how we need to live fully now. Living abundantly is realizing that life is much more than what we see and have experienced. There are endless possibilities and choices. Experiencing abundance requires moving away from timid aspirations and moving toward transforming ourselves in bold ways that lead to making courageous choices.–”Welcome Home to Yourself”.
I believe choices filled with gratitude and abundance, are choices that take us beyond ourselves and our pain. Abundant living is living with humility and generosity.
I wish you “Happy Thanksgiving” every day of the year! If you are not sure, how to celebrate this holiday, share your kindness.
The I and Thou in Living Your Vision
Posted by: suzannekyra on: September 23, 2009
JFKennedy was quoted as saying, “Ask not what the country can do for you, rather ask what you can do for your country.” This morning I visited Share Food bank in my community with the local Rotary club. I was touched by the quality of work Share Society’s volunteers and staff are doing with so few resources. Their mission is to give food to whoever comes to their door. Their motto is respect, hospitality and decency to all. While at the food bank, I thought of the generosity of Schindler who helped the Jews escape during the Holocaust years. In the film Schindler’s List, Schindler reflected at the end of his days, “What if he had sold his fancy car? How many more lives could he have saved with this money?” I then heard the director at Share Society state, “The generosity in the community is high, however the need is greater.” I thought their language knows nothing about shame or judgement. The Foodbank is in dire need of greater support. I now reflect, what can we give them, and other foodbanks during this time of greater need? We can give them food, toiletries, household cleaners, money, and our expertise. They need us to help those in great need. Are you a computer expert? They need you. Are you a marketing expert? They need you. Do you enjoy driving? They need you. Do you like to organize groceries? They need you. Are you excellent at finding good deals? They need you. Do you care enough to help. They and we all need each other. Please give, and ask your neighbours, friends, family and corporations to do the same.
It is only by good fortune when you and I, and our loves ones, do not need the food bank. We all take a turn in needing someone’s generosity to help us out at times of need.
In giving to others we are also giving to ourselves. In our society, living your dream, living your vision is much valued and applauded. I have spent a life time focussing on living my visions, and my dreams, and supporting others to do the same. I am struck by the important balance of living our dreams, and always being curious on how we are honoring our commitments, and caring for the community at large. This I believe is the actualization of love, loyalty and empowerment. My opinion is without serving those who need us, we are actually betraying ourselves, and our future generations. It is a lifetime balance, of give and take.
Suggestions Only, On How to Live Your Vision:
-Live in your excellence, become the best you can be.
-Be you, you are the only you, if you are not you, everyone will miss knowing you. It is you who we all desire to meet. Stepping forward with pride and all of your integrity is a great gift to give.
-Find or create a community who shares your integrity, passion, talent, discipline and commitment.
-Choose mentors and experts to help you develop. Go slowly, and do your research in choosing who to mentor you. We all need the right message from the right person.
-Invest time, energy, money, heart, soul and mind into your dream and your loved ones simultaneously.
-Be balanced in your life no matter what.
-See your vision to fruition. Trust your dream it will tell you when you have succeeded. Stay true to your integrity and no one will loose. Everyone will benefit. Be willing to rewrite the written and unwritten rules that prevents you from moving forward. Truly there cannot be any rigid rules on your living vision, for no one has ever taken your path before, because it is your path.
-Understand, people who have done their journey want you to succeed.
-Living your vision is your love voyage- it is your legacy to others. You know you are on your living vision when you have returned home to yourself, and your community is beside you, applauding you.
We are never alone, however much we try to go our lives solo. The journey is ours, and on the sides of our paths are many people, who have been before us and many with us now, who are carrying us forward.
Thank-you to Share Society in Metro Vancouver, B.C., Canada. Also, to all the amazing people and organizations around the world, who are doing what Share Society is doing. You are the revolution of real change. You are asking, “What can we do for people in need?”, and then you are doing it!
How can you help? What is your commitment?
How To Lavish Your Life Without Spending Money!
Posted by: suzannekyra on: September 22, 2009
How you Lavish your life with out spending money is about how you approach all of your relationships. Lavishing your life with meaningfulness is understanding that your happiness, and pain comes from within. When you blame others, you are entering a world of suffering, and causing pain to others. The more you respect your happiness and your pain, the more meaningfully you are living your life.
1. Passion–What do you love to do? What do you love to create? What did you enjoy doing as a child? Your answers are what you are needing to be true to today.
2. Integrity–Living with faithfulness to what is honest. Without integrity you have nothing.
3. Excellence–Being in partnership with what you are doing, and being the best you can be. Take an hour to an hour and a half a week to deeply reflect on how are you promoting your excellence. Create space to do what is needed to be excellent. This means decluttering your mind of self-defeating thoughts, decluttering your living space of what is no longer serving your and your loved ones well-being.
4. Service–No matter what– give to others with joy. Always be curious how you can help others, and similarily always be curious how you can ask others to help you. Let the nurturing go around and around.
Enjoy your -Passion, Integrity, Excellence, and Service!
No matter what life brings you, BREATHE, LAUGH, FORGIVE, and LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS MORE.
THINGS THAT DO NOT COST MONEY
1) Go for a gratitude walk- see the abundance around you in the Natural World, or in the mall.
2) Create a focus group–exploring what you love, and how to bring more of that into your life.
3) Create a neighborhood flee market. Exchange your treasures. Give the rest to a Shelter.
4) Have a weekly dance evening at your home. Alone, with family or friends. Move your body to music and song.
5) Go out for dessert rather than dinner for special events.
6) Seek out community events that are free.
7) Join volunteer organizations.
Turn your kitchen into a reality show- explore what is the most creative meal you can make with what is.
9) When overwhelmed, afraid, or stuck. BREATHE, MEDITATE, LOVE ACTIVELY.
10) When joyful, and you feel full of vim and vigor. BREATHE, MEDITATE, LOVE ACTIVELY.
Living lavishly is living with love, trust, and assertion making this a good experience for yourself and for those who are counting on you!
The Dangerous Waters of Self-Awareness
Posted by: suzannekyra on: September 19, 2009
We live in a society that markets feeling good as the essence of well-being. Of course this is a delightful state to be in. However, there is much in our life that occurs which rocks our confidence, and invites pain, loss, confusion and even despair into our minds and bodies. These states are as vital as the state of well-being. There is a reason these states of discomfort are present, and we need to be in these places when they are present to learn the lessons that bring us back to our exuberance. Of course, while we are in these difficult states we need to be practicing extra self-care and self-love, and with the support of others. If we heed the lessons from these places of not feeling good, with compassion and hold full responsibility for who we are, and how we are living, we are gifted with living with integrity. I have enjoyed seeing how authentic behaviour with integrity is filled with self-kindness and kindness towards others. There is no anger creating an us and them.
Anger is often a defense against the dangerous waters of feeling a deep pain, a deep longing for something that was lost, or never experienced. Anger gives us a sense of control and justification. It tells us something is wrong. Anger is the reaction to pain. Pain is the raw hurt, which can open our hearts to the bigger lesson of self-care, love, forgiveness and a compassionate solution. Love is absent when the heart and brain is clouded with anger and envy.
Feeling our pain is dangerous waters for it takes us out of compliant behavour, melting away the fear that binds us to alienation of our dreams and visions.
We know when we are living with self-awareness when we are experiencing; a yes and world, a forgiveness for being imperfect and for living in imperfect relationships, and even having imperfect outcomes. The irony for all of us, is that we live in this imperfect world which is filled with infinite beauty, pride, joy, and possibilities. I believe feeling our pain, disconnects us from our attachment to suffering. I believe suffering is attachment to what we know and do not want to accept what we know, because we are afraid. This self-awareness kicks us out of our conditoned responses to new connections with ourselves, others and our beautiful world. In the end it is always our choice how we respond to what life brings us. What are your thoughts on this?
Living Our Vision, and Sharing it With Others
Posted by: suzannekyra on: September 16, 2009
Have you ever had the experience of telling your story, and the audience keeps applauding and applauding? Well this is the gift the audience gave me at the Living Vision retreat when I spoke on Living Your Vision, and Living Your Dream. I told my story describing my personal and professional journey, my failures, my successes, my courage, my fears, and the twists and turns in my life. The audience’s responsiveness reminded me of how much we desire to connect with each other’s authenticity, no matter what the story. Often I hear clients and audiences speak about the fear of burdening others with their pain and mishaps, not realizing the burden only exists when we withhold a part of ourselves from ourselves or others.
I have found living my vision is a journey that is intimate, often evoking many different responses such as inspiration, joy, devotion, and sometimes even sadness for not choosing this path sooner. I spoke about how following our path can at times tear us away from any identity we are attached to that does not serve our well being. I shared what a flop I am, whenever I give a hybrid version of myself. I need to be completely transparent and compassionate towards myself and all those around me. I believe success is natural when we are diligently following our bliss. I also learned, what we originally think is our bliss, is often not what we end up with. It is much more. There is a beautiful internal transformation- where love for our passion flourishes. This is what it has been for me, as a clinician, award winning author and empowerment speaker.
This audience taught me once again no one can be interested in what I have to say, if I am not fully in front of them . When I spoke in front of the audience I showed up with all of my vitality, love, heart, excellence, and lonely hard work. The audience taught me the world is waiting to receive our brilliant light. We just need to step forward and present ourselves to the relationship. I received two l-o-n-g resounding standing ovations, that brought me to my knees with gratitude.
What did I do to prepare for this marvelous event?
1. I meditated on removing, my fears, inhibitions and shyness–to fully step out with all of me.
2. I let go of teaching, and sharing my opinions as much as absolutely possible. Instead I told stories about the journey.
3. I shared the truth of my journey. The truth of my successes and growing pains, and the impact this has had on my personal and professional life.
5. I loved the audience.
The gift is a connection that I will always treasure. I would love to hear your stories on living your vision and your dream. What are the surprises and the gifts you have discovered?
SEVEN STEPS TO LIVING EXPANSIVELY–NO MATTER WHAT
Posted by: suzannekyra on: August 10, 2009
There is something very exciting about choosing to live beyond the constraints of our conditioning and fears.
Many years ago, I taught myself to rigorously practice an exercise of tracking my thoughts, feelings, beliefs and choices when I felt badly about anything. I would ask myself, ”What is this really about? ” and “What is needed here?” To this day, this is one of my daily practices, which I regularily share with those I am working with. I ask myself, “Am I in a state of compassion, or am I feeling like a victim?” If I feel constricted, I then practice moving back into compassion. This has become such an empowering and liberating practice. I would love to share my empowering steps to live expansively with you.
I do this by :
1) SENSING MY BODY. If my body is feeling deadened, heavy, or sluggish, I move it. Shaking the body, jumping up and down, or swinging the arms, can bring strength and circulation into the body. I am doing this with mindfulness, focussing on the body’s responses.
Lesson: COMPASSION DOES NOT GO WELL WITH A SLUGGISH BODY.
2) BELLY BREATHING. I breathe into the abdomen. Practicing laughing also helps the breath work. See my book, “Welcome Home to Yourself”. Sometimes I need to be alone to find a relaxed breath again.
Lesson: BREATHING EXPANSIVELY IS EXPANSIIVE LIVING.
3) SEEING MORAL CHOICES. No matter what the situation, I always have a CHOICE, on how I will respond to it. I can respond either with a sense of overwhelm and purposelessness, or take a situation as an opportunity to move forward. To help myself move out of feelings of overwhelm, I sometimes make mini lists only choosing to do one thing at a time, always moving towards an empowering solution, making the desired shift needed. Sometimes my list only consists of three wonderful and challenging things, a) rest, b) stay connected with my needs right now, and c)) reach out to others who are trustworthy, and ask for support. This is a very disciplined list.
lesson: MORAL CHOICES IS LIVING EXPANSIVELY.
4) BEING FUNDAMENTALLY CURIOUS. I focus on dropping negative judgment about my processes, or second guessing what I am feeling. Instead I become curious, exploring what is the pain and fear about. I ask myself; “What are the ethical boundaries I need to be practicing?” I compassionately allow myself to feel and share my fear and/or grief, while observing what impact this is having on me and others as I move forward.
lesson: NEGATIVE JUDGEMENT IS LIVING WITHOUT CURIOSITY.
5) ASKING FOR HELP. If a situation is overwhelming, I always, always step out and bring it into the light, by bringing it to the right people who can and who choose to help me move morally forward. Never do I address a situation alone if I have any sense of overwhelm. Even if I cannot speak with someone directly, I will meditate, and I ask for guidance.
lesson: ASKING FOR ASSISTANCE FROM TRUSTWORTHY PEOPLE IS LIVING WITH WISDOM AND TRUST.
6) TURN NEEDS INTO BLESSINGS. I accept what I need, and I am serious about caring for those needs. I take full responsibility for what I need to live expansively. I stay in reality, and focus on using reality to step forward to creating another opportunity to bless both myself and others.
lesson: OUR NEEDS IS OUR MOTIVATION TO MOVE FORWARD- MOVING FORWARD IS LEAVING A LEGACY OF LOVE.
7) LIVING WITH GRATITUDE. Seeing the world through eyes of gratitude, always brings back a sense of joy. No matter what is in front of us, that we exist is worthy of our gratitude.
lesson: Gratitude is living with joy.
Hopefully some or all of these steps you found helpful, and there may be steps that you use that I have not identified here. I would love to hear from you.
Thank-you for your kindness of spending your time with me, and my thoughts on living expansively. These steps are all expressed in words and photographs in my and my son’s book, “Welcome Home to Yourself”. Enjoy!
My New Press Release!
Posted by: suzannekyra on: August 7, 2009
Spiritual Self Discovery Book Welcome Home to Yourself Wins Multiple International Book Awards
In a spectacular and unexpected sweep, the book Welcome Home to Yourself, authored by Suzanne Kyra with photographs by her son Nathan Derksen, won numerous awards in New York City at the 2009 American Book Exposition, the largest book exposition event in North America.
Awards Received:
2009 Benjamin Franklin Gold in New Age, Metaphysics, Spirituality;
2009 Nautilus Silver in Art, Specialty and Gift;
2009 Independent Book Publishers Bronze in Inspiration and Spirituality;
click here to see list of all Awards
The book has received raving reviews. Kirkus Discoveries raved “Kyra’s advice and experiences are complemented by Derksen’s highly chromatic, eyeball-achingly sharp photographs, which ground the reader and suggest the transformative power of nature. More simply, they’re beautiful. Steve Harrison, publisher of the RADIO-TV INTERVIEW REPORT, adds “Give yourself or a friend the gift of beauty, peace, and wisdom. Give them this book!”
In Welcome Home to Yourself, Suzanne Kyra and son Nathan Derksen weave words and images that illuminate the most profound and basic elements of the human experience. Their book combines compassionate and provocative narrative with rich, poetic photographs of nature, deepening the reader’s curiosity and joy for life. “This book is an inspirational photo journal on how to live successfully-no matter what life brings you” states Kyra . “The book’s message is that we can always call on our connection with nature to help discover the abundance of joy in each one of us.”
Kyra wrote this book as the first in a trilogy. This book shares her message with the world: “My life’s work is supporting people to empower themselves to become bigger, better and more beautiful than they ever imagined.” Given that a picture is worth a thousand words, Kyra adds that “I felt the addition of my son’s extraordinary photography talent would be an excellent tool in illuminating the beauty experienced in nature and in ourselves. It was a beautiful experience working together that brought our relationship closer.” Kyra’s other younger son is now hoping to have his turn to work with Mom on the next book.
Welcome Home to Yourself is distributed through Morgan James Publishing and Ingram Books. It is available to order through Amazon.com, Chapters and other major booksellers. More information on ordering or arranging for an appearance can be found at www.suzannekyra.com .
For more information or to book an interview, please contact:
Suzanne Kyra
Relationships Matter Publishing Inc.
201-3041 Anson Ave., Coquitlam, B.C., V3B 2H6 Canada Telephone 604-942-7134
www.relationshipsmatterpublishing.com
Welcome Home to Yourself
Written by Suzanne Kyra and photography by Nathan Derksen
ISBN 978-0-9809013-0-6 128 pp.
Launch Date: Sept. 2009
