Lavish Your Life

I have a new blog which can be found at LavishYourLife.com

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Warm regards,
Suzanne Kyra

The Power of Daring To Believe in Yourself

There is a statement I often hear from clients, when they discuss their fear of being in all of the their power. They remember someone saying to them, “Who do you think you are?”

I believe this is an excellent opportunity to now say, “I am me. Why do you ask this question?” To be you is to believe in yourself — taking the right to exist, to expand, to celebrate and to fully embrace your life, as the clock ticks, and as you remain the author of your choices.

Five Fabulous Ways to Live Happily-Happy New Year!

I have lived a life time of looking at what matters to all of us as a human race. What are the universal truths? How can we live in ways that exceeds our best hopes?  Here I have identified five fabulous ways to live happily which  comes from my deep introspection, training, and personal and professional life experience.  I believe these  five fabulous ways to live happily is quite  attainable.

First, it requires OPENING OUR CONNECTION WITH MATTERS OF THE HEART. This requires to feel the joy and pain of loving, and missing love. This means when a relationship has become derailed,  we can still feel and connect with the love that first created the attachment of connection. Often to minimize the attachment, and  to feel less pain, we cut off from ourselves and our  true feelings in our heart. We dismiss the depth of caring that exists inside of us. It may seem that we are cutting off from the other person, but it is always ourselves we are truly cutting off from. We are actually cutting off from our deeper core, our deeper self. This can allow immediate relief, escape from hurt, however, the potential consequence is an eternal schism from a deeper happiness. Opening our access to  the heart is acknowledging to ourselves the mammoth number of relationships, and care that it has taken for us to be alive today.  Recognizing the blessings of the ordinary is opening our hearts. It truly humbles us.

Opening the heart is placing a smile on our face, and looking around and seeing the beauty around us and in ourselves. This is returning to the innocence of the loving heart. In my son’s and my book, Welcome Home to Yourself, we explore this through introspection and photography.

Another fabulous way to live happily is to be PRESENT. This requires full participation with what is occurring right now. This means no holding back, no passivity, no judgment, no sense of being inferior or superior. Being present is embracing that this moment, this relationship, this encounter, this job, this play, this rest, this meal and so on  is what is most important right now in receiving our full attention. Being present is gifting every moment with staying in reality, holding a loving safe boundary, and having the awareness of choosing what is in the higher good for all. Being present is holding on to both realities, the I and thou. Balancing this encounter is living in awareness. Acting in awareness invites happiness with ourself, because we are doing our  full part in engaging with our world. We cannot ask anything more from ourselves. Being present is also understanding that the outcome is out of our control.

The third fabulous way to live happily is understanding the PROACTIVITY in being present. Proactivity is taking care of all of our responsibilities, and we do not allow excuses to excuse us from living maturely no matter what comes our way. When we are not proactive,  we need to do whatever we can to return to this conscious self-care.

The fourth fabulous way to live happily is choosing to be CONFIDENT in ourselves, even when we are afraid. For us to understand, it is not perfection which creates confidence, it is acceptance, and a belief that we have the right to step forward in our life, and we always have something to share that benefits and gives value to those we are with.

The fifth fabulous way to live happily is inviting SATISFACTION and CONTENTMENT as constant companions in whatever we are doing. This is to understand that being satisfied is stronger than all the strong feelings and emotions which blocks joy and happiness.

I hope you have enjoyed this list of fabulous ways to live happily, and I invite you to share your fabulous ways to live happily. All the best in 2010. May you, and my this year bring you great happiness!

Violence: Where it Comes From and How Can We Replace It!

I had the wonderful honor to be invited to speak at a local event, on violence. I have since been thinking of the many ways in which we are violent. Often we are violent when: our pain outweighs our sensibilities; we have a moral entitlement; we are protecting our survival, or survival of someone, or something we value;  injustice has been done; greed, envy, or jealousy. The love factor is lost. We are also vulnerable to being violent when we are feeling afraid, desperate, and need to appear superior or inferior. No matter what, violence always promises disconnection. There are many ways to be in the world, sometimes when we do not know how to be otherwise, maybe the only answer is to take better care of ourselves, and what will follow is us taking better care of what matters to us, and the better good for all. What do you think?

 

Annoyances Can Bring Us Back To Our Strength of Being!

I today was given some  annoying news. I decided to watch the impact it had on me. First, my breath became shallow. Second my muscles tightened up. Third  my mind went into defense and fear mode. Can you relate to this?

I decided to go into solution mode. First I needed to breathe deeply.  Second I needed to relax my belly and the rest of my body. Third I needed to  remind myself that no one died, or is sick. I just needed  to attend to the error that has occurred. I can deal with any scenerio. Do my part, and leave the rest behind. I then called two experts in this area of annoyance, and they came with a very efficient solution. The outcome I do not know what it will be. However, I have not done anything wrong, and if I had, I would own it, and still go through the steps I just did. What the delight is, I was able to extricate myself from the stress of the annoyance, and take care of what is important. 

Sometimes we are not as resourced, however, we still need to step forward and always bring our “best foot” forward. I am so grateful that I have learned to trust my intuition and trust that there are many people around us, who really care and wish to support us.

May the annoyances in your life bring you back to what is really important in your life. Your well-being is your integrity.

What is Charisma? Tips to Build Your Charisma

I was asked today what makes me different from other speakers? Was I a president of a country? Is there a huge scandal that I am involved in? I thought it is a good thing that I could say, “No!” to both. Or is this a good thing? Then I thought this question begs the question: What is it that audiences are wanting? Is it that they want to live vicariously through the speaker, or is it the audience enjoys greatness and gossip? What is it about scandal that is so attractive? Does it cause the witness to feel safe and smug? Because, this is not their life.  I think the audience is needing to gain a sense of charisma from the speaker. Being a president, or involved in a scandal certainly reveals our vulnerability, strengths and blind spots. On a more serious note. Audiences come to hear someone speak, because the speaker is bringing forward some part of themselves which will interest the audience or make a positive  difference in the audience’s  lives.

Hence this is why the audience needs to feel the speaker, to gain a sense of the speaker’s personality.  This is what we call the speaker’s charisma. Charisma is your charm, the beauty of your personality. It is showing your personality appeal. It is your pride. Everyone has it! Some just know how to show it off better than others. Because they have practiced the art of charisma.

How can you build your charisma whether you are a speaker or not?

1) Focus on what you are proud of, and put stories around it. 

2) Practice in front of a mirror telling your stories, with laughter and joy.

3) Invite others to tell their stories, and show genuine interest in their charisma. Others will enjoy your charisma more if you enjoy theirs also.

4) Share your stories revealing your unique self.

This is a great practice for people at a boardroom to practice. Everyone sharing one unique story about themselves. Similarily at the dinner table, as well as parties.

I would love to hear your unique stories that shows you and others off in a good light. Please share!

Living Your Life with Gratitude and A Sense of Abundance!

In Canada we are approaching what I believe is  a most  wonderful celebration of the year, Thanksgiving. I remember how as a child  the Thanksgiving holiday was  a magical time for me. People in our community would bring produce from their gardens to church. The abundance from the gardens would be displayed in the front of the church.  The church service was focussed on expressing gratitude for what we have been given, and our responsibility to give to others. After church we would enjoy a  turkey dinner with all of the trimmings. I remember the feeling of expansiveness with this tone of giving to others. In my and my son’s book “Welcome Home to Yourself”,  I write about abundance from a perspective which goes beyond what we have to what we share. 

“Abundance, like the Natural World, surpasses what we have–it is what we unconditionally share. I believe that abundance is only experienced in the presence of generosity. For me, this is about the joy and commitment we have to share, and how we need to live fully now. Living abundantly is realizing that life is much more than what we see and have experienced. There are endless possibilities and choices. Experiencing abundance requires moving away from timid aspirations and moving toward transforming ourselves in bold ways that  lead to making courageous choices.–”Welcome Home to Yourself”.

I believe choices filled with gratitude and abundance,  are choices that take us beyond ourselves and our pain. Abundant living is living with humility and generosity.

I wish you “Happy Thanksgiving” every day of the year! If you are not sure, how to celebrate this holiday, share your kindness.

The I and Thou in Living Your Vision

JFKennedy was quoted as saying, “Ask not what the country can do for you, rather ask what you can do for your country.” This morning I visited Share Food bank in my community with the local Rotary club. I was touched by the quality of work Share Society’s volunteers and staff are doing with so few resources. Their mission is to give  food to whoever comes to their door. Their motto is respect, hospitality and decency  to all. While at the food bank, I thought of the generosity of Schindler who helped the Jews escape during the Holocaust years. In  the film Schindler’s List, Schindler reflected at the end of his days, “What if he had sold his fancy car? How many more lives could he have saved with this money?”  I then heard the director at Share Society  state, “The generosity in the community is high, however the need is greater.” I thought their language knows nothing about shame or judgement. The Foodbank is in dire need of greater support. I now reflect, what can we give them, and other foodbanks during this time of greater need? We can give them food, toiletries, household cleaners, money, and our expertise. They need us to help those in great need. Are you a computer expert?  They need you. Are you a marketing expert? They need you. Do you enjoy driving? They need you. Do you like to organize groceries? They need you. Are you excellent at finding good deals? They need you. Do you care enough to help. They and we all need each other. Please give, and ask your neighbours, friends, family and corporations to do the same.

It is only by good fortune when you and I, and our loves ones, do not need the food bank. We all take a turn in needing someone’s generosity to help us out at times of need.

In giving to others we are also giving to ourselves. In our society, living your dream, living your vision is much valued and applauded. I have spent a life time focussing on living my visions, and my dreams, and supporting others to do the same. I am struck by the important balance of living our dreams, and always being curious on how we are  honoring our commitments, and caring for the community at large. This I believe is the actualization of love, loyalty and empowerment. My opinion is without serving those who need us, we are actually betraying ourselves, and our future generations. It is a lifetime balance, of give and take.

Suggestions Only, On How to Live Your Vision:

-Live in your excellence,  become the best you can be.

-Be you, you are the only you, if you are not you, everyone will miss knowing you. It is you who we all desire to meet. Stepping  forward with pride and all of your integrity is a great gift to give.

-Find or create a community who shares your integrity, passion, talent, discipline and commitment.

-Choose mentors and experts to help you develop. Go slowly, and do your research in choosing who to mentor you. We all need the right message from the right person.

-Invest time, energy, money, heart, soul and mind into your dream and your loved ones simultaneously.

-Be balanced in your life no matter what.

-See your vision to fruition. Trust your dream it will tell you when you have succeeded. Stay true to your integrity and no one will loose. Everyone will benefit. Be willing to rewrite the written and unwritten rules that prevents you from moving forward. Truly there cannot be any rigid rules on your living vision, for no one has ever taken your path before, because it is your path.

-Understand, people who have done their journey want you to succeed.

-Living your vision is your love voyage- it is your legacy to others. You know you are on your living vision when you  have returned home to yourself, and your community is beside you, applauding you.

We are never alone, however much we try to go our lives solo. The journey is ours, and on the sides of our paths are many people, who have been before us and many with us now, who are carrying us forward.

 Thank-you to  Share Society in Metro Vancouver, B.C., Canada. Also, to all the amazing people and organizations around the world, who are doing what Share Society is doing. You are the revolution of  real change. You are asking, “What can we do for people in need?”, and then you are doing it! 

How can you help? What is your commitment?

How To Lavish Your Life Without Spending Money!

How you Lavish your life with out spending money is about how you approach all of your relationships. Lavishing your life with meaningfulness is understanding that your happiness, and pain comes from within. When you blame others, you are entering a world of suffering, and causing pain to others. The more you respect your happiness and your pain, the more meaningfully you are living your life.

1. Passion–What do you love to do?  What do you love to create? What did you enjoy doing as a child? Your answers are what you are needing to be true to today.
2. Integrity–Living with faithfulness to what is honest. Without integrity you have nothing.
3. Excellence–Being in partnership with what you are doing, and being the best you can be. Take an hour to an hour and a half a week to deeply reflect on how are you promoting your excellence. Create space to do what is needed to be excellent. This means decluttering your mind of self-defeating thoughts, decluttering your living space of what is no longer serving your and your loved ones well-being.
4. Service–No matter what– give to others with joy. Always be curious how you can help others, and similarily always be curious how you can ask others to help you. Let the nurturing go around and around. 

Enjoy your -Passion, Integrity, Excellence, and Service!

No matter what life brings you, BREATHE, LAUGH, FORGIVE, and LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS MORE.

 THINGS THAT DO NOT COST MONEY

1) Go for a gratitude walk- see the abundance around you in the Natural World, or in  the mall.
2) Create a focus group–exploring what you love, and how to bring more of that into your life.
3) Create a neighborhood flee market. Exchange your treasures. Give the rest to a Shelter.
4) Have a weekly dance evening at your home. Alone, with family or friends. Move your body to music and song.
5) Go out for dessert rather than dinner for special events.
6) Seek out community events that are free.
7) Join volunteer organizations.
Turn your kitchen into a reality show- explore what is the most creative meal you can make with what is.
9) When overwhelmed, afraid, or stuck. BREATHE, MEDITATE, LOVE ACTIVELY.
10) When joyful, and you feel full of vim and vigor. BREATHE, MEDITATE, LOVE ACTIVELY.

Living lavishly is living with love, trust, and assertion making this a good experience for yourself and for those who are counting on you!

The Dangerous Waters of Self-Awareness

We live in a society that markets feeling good as the essence of well-being. Of course this is a delightful state to be in. However, there is much in our life that occurs which rocks our confidence, and invites pain, loss, confusion and even despair into our minds and bodies. These states are as vital as the state of well-being.  There is a reason these states of discomfort are present, and we need to be in these places when they are present to learn the lessons that bring us back to our exuberance. Of course, while we are in these difficult states we need to be practicing extra self-care and self-love, and with the support of others.  If we heed the lessons from these places of not feeling good, with compassion and hold full responsibility for who we are, and how we are living, we are gifted with living with integrity. I have enjoyed seeing how authentic behaviour with integrity is filled with self-kindness and kindness towards others. There is no anger creating an us and them.

Anger is often a defense against the dangerous waters of feeling a deep pain, a deep longing for something that was lost, or never experienced. Anger gives us a sense of control and justification. It tells us something is wrong. Anger is the reaction to pain.  Pain is the raw hurt, which can open our hearts to the bigger lesson of self-care, love, forgiveness and a compassionate solution. Love is absent when the heart and brain is clouded with anger and envy.

Feeling our pain is dangerous waters for it takes us out of compliant behavour, melting away the fear that binds us to alienation of our dreams and visions.

We know when we are living with self-awareness when we are experiencing; a yes and world, a forgiveness for being imperfect and for living in imperfect relationships, and even having imperfect outcomes. The irony for all of us, is that we live in this imperfect world which is filled with infinite  beauty, pride, joy, and possibilities. I believe feeling our pain, disconnects us from our attachment to suffering. I believe suffering is attachment to what we know and do not want to accept what we know, because we are afraid. This self-awareness kicks us out of our conditoned responses to new connections with ourselves, others and our beautiful world. In the end it is always our choice how we respond to what life brings us. What are your thoughts on this?